Chapter 9

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I pulled up at our house at ten thirty pm. There was no night carer for Melissa tonight, so I brought her in, ready to prepare her for bed. As I entered, I could hear the television in the living room. "Oh god I thought for a moment, I hope Julie isn't still here. I headed off to the living room, to find a snoozing Michael, with the local news going on in the background. As I put Melissa in her wheelchair, Michael stirred. I looked at him for a moment and realised that we were drifting apart. Sometimes I felt we were like strangers. Before I could think any more, Michael woke up and seeing me leapt out of the chair. "Oh, Bex he said, "I'm so sorry, I've been so worried about you both. "are you ok? I realised then that I was absolutely exhausted. Yes, I replied I'm fine. "Bex, said Michael pleadingly, let's talk? "No Michael not tonight. We are both tired, let's just get Melissa settled and then go to bed. "Ok said Michael softly. "You know I love you don't you Bex. Yes, I replied, I know you do, I love you too". Michael gently picked up Melissa, switched off the lights, and we headed upstairs. The next morning, despite a fitful night, and still feeling exhausted, I got up earlier than normal, dealt with the early morning ritual, with Melissa and Jessica, and waited for the inevitable arrival of Julie. She arrived dead on time, at eight thirty. She smiled warmly as she entered, waved at Jessica, and went into the kitchen. This was it I told myself, it's now or never. I followed her, feeling nervous with every step. There were some cups and plates in the sink, which Julie was dutifully washing up, her back towards me. "I blurted out, Julie we need to talk"! Julie slowly turned to look at me, and, in a patronising tone, she said. "Oh, Rebecca please let's not talk about what happened any more". "I know you overreacted, but it's ok I forgive you". Forgive me! I thought. she really was something. "No Julie, it's not about that, "well it's not just about that". She turned around completely and dried her hands slowly on the tea towel. She looked at me, annoyed at being stopped from doing, whatever it was she was pretending to be doing. "Well she said, are you going to spit it out or what? To be honest, she had not been so openly hostile to me before, so in fact, Julie was really making this too easy for me. "Julie I've been thinking for a while now, that "I don't think things are working out". "What things are these she said, her eyes narrowing, and boring into me. "Well," I started to stutter, losing my confidence suddenly. Why hadn't I called the agency instead? "Things are not working out with you looking after the children. Julie's demeanour changed, and her look became very dark, and for the first time I realised, I was actually frightened of her. "What exactly are you saying, Mrs Schaffer"? For a moment I looked down at my feet. It took all of my strength to lift my head up again. I looked into her ice-cold steel blue eyes and blurted out. "I don't want you to work for us any more"! For a moment or two, her look didn't change, then she slowly folded the tea towel, and put it down. Her coat was behind the kitchen chair, and her bag on the table, her set of spare keys to our home sitting on the top. She picked up both items and headed towards the door, but not before slamming the keys on the table in front of me. My heart was beating so fast, I thought I was going to have a panic attack. Was she really leaving? "is this the end? As Julie

reached the door, she slowly turned around to face me. Her cigarette lined upper lip was turned into the tightest evil grimace. "You know", she said finally, "you will find Rebecca, that I make a very bad enemy".
"My name is Bex I said!... Then louder. "MY NAME IS BEX"!